


skz zone 2018-2019

by jihyukkin



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Texting, can never have too many group chat fics, i swear i'm trying but spacing is hard, someone teach me basic html
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-08-23 10:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16616969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jihyukkin/pseuds/jihyukkin
Summary: who is moon jae in: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)you can’t use slander like that: can i take back my offeryou can’t use slander like that: i’ve decided we could do without a dance group3racha, a hip-hop group following the new trend of secret and otherwise hidden identities, needs a dance group for their newest song, ZONE. Luckily, 3racha's leader, CB97, knows a certain Lee Minho. (Another skz text fic to feed the void? More likely than you think.)





	1. ain't we got fun

**Author's Note:**

> (in this story, chan and woojin are college freshmen, minho and changbin are seniors, the '00 line is juniors, and jeongin is a sophomore.)
> 
> woojin - woojeans  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - who is moon jae in  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - seungmean  
> jeongin - baby!!

_**dance section 1**_

  


dancing queen (only 17): dajdfklajskfldsj minho you abosltue ass explian yourself

dancing queen (only 17): wdym were doin 3racha 

  


who is moon jae in: oh? haven’t you heard?

  


dancing queen (only 17): this is NOT the tiem

  


baby,,: we’re dancing to a 3racha song? :D

  


dancing queen (only 17): NO WERE GON A TLKA TO 3RAVHS 

  


who is moon jae in: i mean it’ll be great to begin with calling them 3ravhs

who is moon jae in: uh yeah, i love hip-hop… keith ape and kanye west and *looks at smudged handwriting* 3ravhs

who is moon jae in: how would you pronounce that?

  


dancing queen (only 17): i’ll Kill You

  


baby,,: …(not even worried about it)

  


who is moon jae in: pull the jrigger piglet

who is moon jae in: n e ways

who is moon jae in: mr. park introduced me and cb so yeah i struck up a deal

  


dancing queen (only 17): never thogugth id owe minho

dancing queen (only 17): MINHO

dancing queen (only 17): my life

  


who is moon jae in: and here we are

who is moon jae in: i may have promised him felix’s first-born and your toenails

who is moon jae in: but you’ll throw those out anyways

  


baby,,: hyunjin was gonna throw out my first-born?

  


who is moon jae in: ...yes

  


dancing queen (only 17): worth it

  


 

_**three teens speaking very fast while someone beats on a drum**_

  


stop slandering me: isn’t that jisung’s school tho?

stop slandering me: chan are you sure this is a good idea

  


you can’t use slander like that: i may not trust minho alone with a child but he won’t go posting on twitter about you two dumbasses

  


stop me, coward: do you know him? like actually?

  


you can’t use slander like that: yeah i met him back last fall during the filming for runner’s high

you can’t use slander like that: changbin’s met him before

  


stop slandering me: the one who kept quoting the princess bride?

  


you can’t use slander like that: ,yeah

  


stop me, coward: but felix is in the dance trope

  


you can’t use slander like that: felix doesn’t have your j.one kakao right?

you can’t use slander like that: we’ll just make a gc on kakao and then they can send us updates there

  


stop me, coward: hhhhhhhhh

  


you can’t use slander like that: if you really don’t want to, i can cancel with minho

  


stop me, coward: HHHHHHHHHHHHHH

stop me, coward: fiiiiinne

  


stop slandering me: so who all is gonna be in this gc

  


you can’t use slander like that: hm

you can’t use slander like that: minho and his section (lee felix and a guy named hwang hyunjin)

you can’t use slander like that: jeonginnie and woojin probably

  


stop slandering me: is this the only gc you have without your lover boy?

  


you can’t use slander like that: do you want to lose your second to last ribs

  


stop me, coward: changbin’s already down to two ribs?

  


stop slandering me: oml do you even know math it’s four ribs

  


you can’t use slander like that: ,,,

you can’t use slander like that: and minho says another kid might be added because him and hyunjin are inseparable

  


 

_**zone 2018-2019**_

  


_who is moon jae in has added stop slandering me, you can’t use slander like that, stop me, coward, dancing queen (only 17), seungmean, and baby,, to **zone 2018-2019**._

_you can’t use slander like that has added baby!! and woojeans to **zone 2018-2019**._

  


who is moon jae in: look who it is

who is moon jae in: bitchbaby

  


baby!!: do i Know You

  


who is moon jae in: oh you’ll wish you didn’t, snake head

  


baby!!: do you plan on keeping your teeth, rat

  


stop slandering me: (tea?)

  


who is moon jae in: you know i hate dentists

  


dancing queen (only 17): ((minho and jeongin Hate Each Other))

  


seungmean: (((They don’t actually)))

seungmean: (((Jeongin wouldn’t help me steal minho’s sandwich in my Time of Need)))

  


baby,,: that’s jeonginnie????

  


baby!!: felix?

  


baby,,: yeah!

baby,,: why do you have two kakaos?

  


baby!!: teenage rebellion

  


baby,,: yeah kid

baby,,: stick it to the old people!

  


stop slandering me: this is going to get real confusing real fast

  


who is moon jae in: vroom vroom!

  


stop me, coward: skrrah pap pap ka ka ka

  


who is moon jae in: skidikiki pap pap and a pu pu pudrrrrr boom

  


stop me, coward: skya

  


who is moon jae in: du du ku ku dun dun

  


stop me, coward: you make my heart go du du ku ku dun dun

  


who is moon jae in: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

  


you can’t use slander like that: can i take back my offer

you can’t use slander like that: i’ve decided we could do without a dance group

  


woojeans: i open my messages to this

woojeans: i am: disappointed, but not surprised


	2. which one is which?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> have to separate the j.ones from the spearbs and the wk97s!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders: 
> 
> woojin: woojeans  
> chan: you can't use slander like that  
> minho: who is moon jae in  
> changbin: stop slandering me  
> hyunjin: dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung: stop me, coward  
> felix: baby,,  
> seungmin: seungmean/segment  
> jeongin: baby!!

_**zone 2018-2019** _

  


who is moon jae in: you signed up for this

who is moon jae in: weakass bitch

  


you can’t use slander like that: and i feel murder in this chili’s tonight

  


who is moon jae in: anyways introduce yourselves panini heads

  


dancing queen (only 17): hwang hyunjin

dancing queen (only 17): best dancer in section 1

  


who is moon jae in: (not the best looking dancer tho)

  


dancing queen (only 17): yeah the best looking is felix

  


who is moon jae in: and i am Betrayed Once Again

  


baby,,: i’m felix!! :D

  


stop me, coward: u-

  


stop slandering me: uwu??

  


you can’t use slander like that: wow they even finish each other’s uwus

you can’t use slander like that: it’s official

you can’t use slander like that: we’ve spent too much time together

  


seungmean: (Hi yeah i’m seungmin)

  


woojeans: ((are you here for no reason too))

  


stop me, coward: why are we here

  


who is moon jae in: only to suffer

  


woojeans: i feel threatened by dumbasses 1 and 2 in one gc

  


dancing queen (only 17): seungmin’s here to be my moral support

  


you can’t use slander like that: _@woojeans_ is our moral support so i guess we’re even

  


baby,,: then why’s jeonginnie here?

  


baby!!: immoral support

  


baby,,: fair enough

  


who is moon jae in: alright @3fuckers your turn

  


stop me, coward: rude

  


who is moon jae in: which one Are You

  


stop me, coward: i’m the one

stop me, coward: j.one

  


woojeans: didn’t know you could count!

  


you can’t use slander like that: a surprise to all of us

you can’t use slander like that: i’m cb97 and _@woojeans’s_ name is woojin

  


woojeans: why do you get a Secret Identity

  


you can’t use slander like that: what

you can’t use slander like that: do you wanna be wk97

  


woojeans: mayhaps

  


who is moon jae in: isn’t that their ship name

  


stop me, coward: (don’t say it so loud)

  


dancing queen (only 17): so that leaves _@stop slandering me_ to be spearb?

  


stop slandering me: you sure betcha

  


stop me, coward: stop it i’m scared of canada

  


stop slandering me: actually i was inspired by the midwest

  


stop me, coward: w o r s e

stop me, coward: corn haunts my nightmares

  


you can’t use slander like that: are we all introduced now?

  


dancing queen (only 17): i think so, mr. cb97

  


you can’t use slander like that: then i guess we can get down to business

  


stop me, coward: TO DEFEAT,,,, THE HUNS

  


who is moon jae in: to Defeet…. the huns

  


you can’t use slander like that: wh

you can’t use slander like that: what

  


who is moon jae in: like how they chopped off the hands off thieves

who is moon jae in: and put them on the jesus statue

who is moon jae in: we can make a foot jesus

  


woojeans: if you keep talking i’ll be making a tongue jesus

  


seungmean: This just in:

seungmean: Minho has multiple tongues

  


who is moon jae in: all the better to lick you with

  


dancing queen (only 17): minho’s sex must be wild

  


who is moon jae in: don’t you already have segment?

  


seungmean: se

  


dancing queen (only 17): i love my boyfriend, segment

  


_seungmean set their nickname to segment._

  


who is moon jae in: anyways

who is moon jae in: _@you can’t use slander like that_ send me the song and i’ll work on it

  


you can’t use slander like that: our lyrics aren’t set but i’ll send what we’ve got

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeongin is mostly gone because ((i didn't know how to write him)) he's off being a good student and getting his work in.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> perhaps need for plot thiccening? hmm, will consider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders: 
> 
> woojin - woojeans  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - who is moon jae in  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

_**the dancing buffoon** _

  


you can’t use slander like that: are you sure you can do this?

you can’t use slander like that: you know what happened last time

  


who is moon jae in: No Offense™ but shit is different now

who is moon jae in: he’s completely on the other side of korea

who is moon jae in: hopefully desperately lost in gwangju

  


you can’t use slander like that: i’m trusting you not to lie to me

you can’t use slander like that: if you feel like you need to step out tell me

  


who is moon jae in: i know, chan

who is moon jae in: but i got this

  


you can’t use slander like that: alright

  


_you can’t use slander like that has sent an audio message._

  


you can’t use slander like that: this is our title track so far

you can’t use slander like that: we’re supposed to promote this and then another b-side track

  


who is moon jae in: how far are you for the b-side?

  


_you can’t use slander like that has sent an audio message._

  


you can’t use slander like that: so far we’ve been calling it mixtape #3

  


who is moon jae in: i’ll take a few listens and start outlining the choreo

  


you can’t use slander like that: thanks, minho

  


who is moon jae in: so how’s your courtship with mr. googly eyes teddy bear going? ;))))

  


you can’t use slander like that: and now i Disappear

  


who is moon jae in: whoosh

who is moon jae in: there he go

  


_**zone 2018-2019** _

  


stop me, coward: i smell him coming

  


stop slandering me: wrong chat man

  


stop me, coward: you don’t decide who i wanted to warn

  


baby,,: who do you smell?????

  


stop me, coward: god

  


baby!!: God’s judgment will be Swift

  


stop me, coward: thanks

stop me, coward: but actually it’s cb comin in with that kfc

  


stop slandering me: OMLDFMSLK HE SI

  


baby!!: Exciting

baby!!: im going to break into your studio

  


stop me, coward: well hurry up then

  


woojeans: get here soon or else it’ll get cold

  


baby!!: why are You in the studio?

  


woojeans: actually i was getting the kfc

  


baby!!: makes more Sense

  


woojeans: what Do You Mean

  


stop slandering me: haha the chicken’s here let’s eat hahahahah

  


segment: You all are really talkin about chicken i cant eat

segment: Right in front of my salad

  


dancing queen (only 17): not their fault you’re vegetarian!

  


segment: Youre lucky i fell for your dancing and not your brain

  


who is moon jae in: what brain

  


dancing queen (only 17): and here we see an orge reemerging from a century long hibernation

  


who is moon jae in: what are you doin!

who is moon jae in: in my Swamp!

  


segment: Apparently taunting me right to my face

  


baby,,: _@who is moon jae in_ when’s next dance practice

  


who is moon jae in: i see how this is

who is moon jae in: you don’t want me for me

who is moon jae in: you want me for my ability to not immediately forget dates

  


baby,,: yeah

  


dancing queen (only 17): what else

  


who is moon jae in: alright dumbfucks it’s the 22nd

  


baby,,: thanks minho! 

baby,,: you may not be otherwise useful but you can remember dance practice!

  


who is moon jae in: you’re luckily that i’m busy

who is moon jae in: you shouldn’t be learning those things from hyunjin

  


segment: No that was from me

  


who is moon jae in: Perish

  


segment: Maybe I Will

  


dancing queen (only 17): no!

  


segment: (Dont worry ill only perish after minho does)

  


who is moon jae in: fakeass bitch

who is moon jae in: keep your promises like a real tightrope walker

  


segment: Minho comes from a circus its confirmed

  


who is moon jae in: i’ll be sending you to the circus if you don’t desist

  


segment: Were going to the circus if i dont stop?

  


who is moon jae in: ,

who is moon jae in: i’m bringing hand jesuses back into style

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> plot? (there was a plot?)


	4. realized i didn't give the other chapter a title,, unfortunate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chan is in Some Trouble and first draft is complete!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders: 
> 
> woojin - woojeans  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - who is moon jae in  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

**_ye old gossiping ahjummas_ **

  


woojeans: ding ding

woojeans: time’s up weeb

  


you can’t use slander like that: ?? for what??

  


woojeans: you’ve been ratted out in the form of two unsuccessful soundcloud rappers

woojeans: jisung and changbin told me you haven’t gotten back to the dorms yet

woojeans: who was it that told me he’d go back to his dorm before midnight?

woojeans: who really should get some sleep since his groupmates are finally selling him out? 

  


you can’t use slander like that: haha i Wonder

you can’t use slander like that: probably changbin

  


woojeans: you can’t keep doing this chan

woojeans: especially with your college classes too

  


you can’t use slander like that: i kind of have to to pass any of them and still hit my jyp deadlines 

  


woojeans: just let jisung and changbin do more of the work or get help from other producers

woojeans: chan 

woojeans: you can’t just ignore my messages

woojeans: i’m coming to the studio

  


**_dance section 1_ **

  


who is moon jae in: _@baby,,_ _@dancing queen (only 17)_ run in here and get yall’s juice

who is moon jae in: got a choreo draft done so i’m sending an email and you two have to look it over

  


dancing queen (only 17): jeez that was fast

dancing queen (only 17): also it’s like 3am?

  


who is moon jae in: time is an illusion dweeb and i woke up Energized so i finalized it

who is moon jae in: and who Tormented me for 17 years in study halls to get it done

  


dancing queen (only 17): felix?

  


baby,,: i did what?

  


who is moon jae in: how dare you blame this on felix

who is moon jae in: you should know better

  


dancing queen (only 17): you’re right, i’m half sorry

  


who is moon jae in: what do you guys think then

  


dancing queen (only 17): i would let j.one punch me in the face

dancing queen (only 17): he switches registers!!! howO

  


baby,,: Owo

  


who is moon jae in: ,,no, felix

who is moon jae in: and i didn’t mean your fanboy crush i meant the choreo dimwit

  


baby,,: it’s good minho!!

  


dancing queen (only 17): j.flawless 

  


who is moon jae in: although i normally love grovelling,

who is moon jae in: Accepting Only Honesty Today, Thank You

  


dancing queen (only 17): ,

dancing queen (only 17): boi

  


baby,,: the dance looks good!

baby,,: what’s with the lyric gaps in the chorus though?

  


who is moon jae in: they haven’t completed the lyrics yet

who is moon jae in: (that also means the choreo will have to change eventually)

  


dancing queen (only 17): so we’re going to have to eventually teach this to 3racha?

dancing queen (only 17): i’ll see j.one in person??

  


baby,,: spearb and cb97 too!

  


who is moon jae in: ,,it depends on them i guess

who is moon jae in: cb Doesn’t Really Care but the others kind of want to Stick With Their Concept™

who is moon jae in: like a sticky slappy hand that get stuck in Someone’s hair on the bus

  


dancing queen (only 17): you really had to come for me like that

  


who is moon jae in: so i mean depends if they want to just have me come in or if they want to expand who’s In The Know

  


dancing queen (only 17): why is life unfair

dancing queen (only 17): why does minho get to see 3racha but not me

dancing queen (only 17): he’s not even a fannnnn

  


who is moon jae in: thank god

who is moon jae in: and For Your Information i’ve only met spearb and cb

who is moon jae in: i only hear stories about j.one from cb and jeongin so

who is moon jae in: did you know that he set their studio on fire

  


dancing queen (only 17): he WHTAT

  


baby,,: did anyone get hurt???

  


who is moon jae in: lmao he didn’t really

who is moon jae in: i mean he might have but i haven’t heard about that one

  


dancing queen (only 17): someday you will have to pay for your sins

  


who is moon jae in: but i’m broke

  


dancing queen (only 17): oh i’ll make sure something’s broke

  


who is moon jae in: we can’t afford another lamp after last month

  


dancing queen (only 17): i’m going to toss your cats down the stairs

  


who is moon jae in: i can tell you don’t Own Cats

who is moon jae in: they do that themselves already

  


**_2racha + dad_ **

  


woojeans: have the dorm open when i come

  


stop me, coward: that’s not terrifying at all

  


stop slandering me: you can’t kill us woojin please

stop slandering me: we already sold chan out don’t come for us too

  


stop me, coward: oh god why isn’t he replying

  


stop slandering me: this is your fault

  


stop me, coward: hey listen it was either have chan or woojin angry at me

stop me, coward: and chan forgives when you feed him

  


stop slandering me: well now we have both of them

stop slandering me: are you Proud of yourself

  


stop me, coward: Never!

  


woojeans: i’m not mad at you two i just don’t have any hands

  


stop slandering me: /??/??DF?/

  


stop me, coward: YOU LOST YORU HANDS?

  


stop slandering me: I NEVER THOUGHT ID SSEE THE DAY

stop slandering me: CHAN TOOKS OFF HSI HANDS?

  


stop me, coward: IT WAS PROBABLY SOEMONE ELS EYOU IDIOT

  


woojeans: you’re both idiots i just don’t have any free hands

woojeans: chan’s out cold so i’m carrying him

woojeans: heavy ass

woojeans: if he planned on passing out then he shouldn’t exercise so much

  


stop slandering me: oh

stop me, coward: less surprising

woojeans: yall better be at the door when i come

  


stop slandering me: yes, sir

  


stop me, coward: ,kinky

  


stop slandering me: stop it

stop slandering me: get some help

  


woojeans: jisung

  


stop me, coward: YES SIR

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that there wasn't a lot of jeongin and seungmin! (those two have Something Else Coming)
> 
> and yeah,,, hyunjin's a j.one stan,,,,, an intellectual


	5. miss minho? miss minho? omg she fuckin dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> felt The Need... (the need for speed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders: 
> 
> woojin - woojeans  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - who is moon jae in  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

**_zone 2018-2019_ **

  


who is moon jae in: choreo draft is out!

  


_who is moon jae in has sent a video message._

  


who is moon jae in: _@stop me, coward_ ;)) check out your part

  


stop me, coward: wh

stop me, coward: this is all so sudden

stop me, coward: i’ve not even graduated high school and a man has proposed to me

stop me, coward: what’s next, teenage pregnancy?

  


segment: There is more than one (1) reason why that doesnt make one (1) sense

  


baby!!: not to Rain On Your Parade

baby!!: but that doesn’t Smell like the Right Dumbass

  


who is moon jae in: got a bloodhound here don’t we

  


baby!!: Hellhound

  


who is moon jae in: i stole minho’s phone bc he’s taking a nap in study hall

who is moon jae in: it's hyunjin lol 

  


stop me, coward: isn’t sleeping in study hall against the rules?

  


who is moon jae in: oh honey

  


segment: I get that you havent met minho yet but you should know

segment: Boy literally has a reputation for getting away with shit

  


who is moon jae in: i’m convinced he’s seduced half the student body and at least a quarter of the staff

  


stop me, coward: damn

  


who is moon jae in: JFsjdfakljds

  


stop me, coward: ?

  


dancing queen (only 17): minho kicked me off his phone :(

  


segment: Do you want me to Kill That Guy for you?

  


dancing queen (only 17): i don’t want you to have to touch him :((

  


who is moon jae in: damn bitch say it to my face

who is moon jae in: …

who is moon jae in: you didn’t really have to

  


baby!!: By The Way

baby!!: how Great Of You to wear a mask in your choreo video

baby!!: saving us from Your Face

  


who is moon jae in: just makin it fair you little emo gremlin

who is moon jae in: didn’t even know you could see from under your overgrown bangs

who is moon jae in: on this day in this year of twenty gay teen?

  


segment: We better not be having 11 more gay teens here

  


who is moon jae in: why is everyone after me?

  


baby!!: activated our flight or fight

  


who is moon jae in: that’s fair

  


**_c.one (cone?)_ **

  


you can’t use slander like that: uh

you can’t use slander like that: how did i get back in the dorm?

  


stop me, coward: Daddy

  


you can’t use slander like that: if you call woojin that one more time i’m stealing minho’s foot jesus idea

  


stop me, coward: woojin took you home

stop me, coward: scared me and changbin half to death

  


you can’t use slander like that: didn’t you only have half your life left

  


stop me, coward: yeah but he scared half of that out of there

stop me, coward: now i have a quarter of my original life

stop me, coward: also

stop me, coward: why didn’t you message both me and changbin?

  


you can’t use slander like that: binnie has tests today and senior planning

you can’t use slander like that: anyways just needed to know

  


stop me, coward: you needed to know if you needed to avoid him?

  


you can’t use slander like that: stop putting things together

you can’t use slander like that: leave that for people who actually turn in their homework and don’t fail out of math

  


stop me, coward: really coming for me after i just Saved Your Life

  


you can’t use slander like that: everyday the light of god comes nearer

you can’t use slander like that: n e ways i’m heading out for the library so don’t expect me when you get home

  


stop me, coward: chan

stop me, coward: i’m pretty sure if you touch any of your workload today woojin’s going to bust a nut

  


you can’t use slander like that: w ha t

  


stop me, coward: you know 

stop me, coward: like get super angry

  


you can’t use slander like that: that’s

you can’t use slander like that: that’s blow a fuse

  


stop me, coward: then what does bust a nut mean

  


you can’t use slander like that: OK SO ABOUT WOOJIN

you can’t use slander like that: just don’t tell him

  


stop me, coward: i wanna keep my head?

  


you can’t use slander like that: jisung common

  


stop me, coward: chan you don’t understand

stop me, coward: he will murder me as a warmup for leg day

stop me, coward: i do not have the advantage of being the object of his affections

  


you can’t use slander like that: i don’t either!

  


stop me, coward: ,,,,,,benching that for another time

stop me, coward: if you wanna go for it then talk to woojin

  


you can’t use slander like that: next time i get kfc you’re excluded

  


**_power couple_ **

  


segment: Hyunjin do you want to come hang out with me and jeonginnie?

segment: He says han jisung and another friend canceled with him so were hanging at the mall

  


dancing queen (only 17): sorry baby i have to meet with the dance club leader to confirm the choreo again

dancing queen (only 17): apparently minho has to go drop the draft off to the jyp building in person so i’m covering his slack

  


segment: Its fine i was just checking

  


dancing queen (only 17): have fun with jeonginnie! <3

  


segment: Well have so much fun that firefightersll have to be called in

segment: <3

  


**_ye old gossiping ahjummas_ **

  


you can’t use slander like that: sorry i scared you last night

you can’t use slander like that: i dozed off waiting for your message and then missed when you did

  


woojeans: this is what i mean about overworking yourself chan

woojeans: you looked away from your work for a few minutes and fell asleep?

  


you can’t use slander like that: i know

you can’t use slander like that: but the work had to be done and sung and bin have to do stuff for high school

you can’t use slander like that: jisung’s been falling behind on his work and he’s close to failing out in math and advanced bio

you can’t use slander like that: changbin has senior planning and he has to work on his college applications and studying for his exams

  


woojeans: and you have college!

woojeans: it’s admirable that you don’t want the kids under more pressure, but you can also get help from others

woojeans: you know jaebum and younghyun don’t have a busy schedule right now

  


you can’t use slander like that: i’d feel bad for taking them away from their rest time

  


woojeans: yeah but you’re literally passing out

woojeans: that means you need to start letting others help you finish off these tracks

woojeans: maybe they’ll help unblock something

  


you can’t use slander like that: i know

  


woojeans: at least for today

woojeans: just rest, okay?

  


you can’t use slander like that: ..okay

  


woojeans: thanks chan

woojeans: maybe this means you’ll be in the right mind and won’t dye your hair neon pink for this comeback <3 

  


you can’t use slander like that: desist

  


**_c.one (cone?)_ **

  


you can’t use slander like that: ,,nevermind i’m staying at the dorms

  


stop me, coward: i thought sooo

stop me, coward: anyways i’m walking home so you want anything from the corner store

  


you can’t use slander like that: popcorn maybe?

you can’t use slander like that: we can have a movie night once binnie’s done with his senior planning meeting

  


stop me, coward: you got it cap

  


**_the dancing buffoon_ **

  


who is moon jae in: uhh noramlly i wouldnt bother you with this

who is moon jae in: btu im in your neighborhod and i think im benig followed??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> since i am horrible and bad, i wrote this whole chapter forgetting to write in some changlix as well,, so hopefully next chapter they'll make themselves known?


	6. he's okay,, for now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jisung gets a shiner and perhaps maybe a sparkle in his black eye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders:
> 
> woojin - woojeans  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - who is moon jae in  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

**_the dancing buffoon_ **

  


you can’t use slander like that: minho?

you can’t use slander like that: where exactly are you

you can’t use slander like that: is it them agian?

  


who is moon jae in: ii think so

who is moon jae in: im hiding wher we rann into changbin thtt time

  


you can’t use slander like that: wait there unless they come in

you can’t use slander like that: jisungs a little closer so im sending him

  


**_c.one (cone?)_ **

  


you can’t use slander like that: jisung are you at the corner shop

  


stop me, coward: decided you need something else?

stop me, coward: nothing Too Big because i Am Broke

  


you can’t use slander like that: you know the alley up a block? 

you can’t use slander like that: minho’s up there so go meet him there and bring him over to the dorms

you can’t use slander like that: go up there quick 

you can’t use slander like that: i don’t care if you get the popcorn or not

  


stop me, coward: why tho?

stop me, coward: what’s Up

  


you can’t use slander like that: not my place to say, sorry

  


**_daesung minjae_ **

  


you can’t use slander like that: hey minjae

you can’t use slander like that: mind if i ask a favor

  


49th rank: what’s up

  


you can’t use slander like that: are you still part of no noori’s old group?

  


49th rank: you know if i could i would leave

49th rank: i can’t let them go after my sister

  


you can’t use slander like that: i’m not going to ask you to leave them

you can’t use slander like that: but do you know if they found minho’s new school?

  


49th rank: oh shit man maybe

49th rank: i don’t think so but they have been messing around near your place if you’ve been hanging out? 

  


you can’t use slander like that: thanks minjae

  


**_2racha_ **

  


stop me, coward: did you Know minho looked Like That

  


stop slandering me: minho?

  


stop me, coward: yeah the dance guy

  


stop slandering me: oh?

stop slandering me: You

stop slandering me: met minho?

stop slandering me: no hiding your identity this time?

  


stop me, coward: chan forced me to bring him up to the dorms

stop me, coward: so we met

stop me, coward: and i think i gave him a heart attack

stop me, coward: he punched me in the face

  


stop slandering me: at least someone’s finally doing it

  


stop me, coward: i Might Have orgasmed on the spot had it not been for the fist in my face

  


stop slandering me: a great thing it is that your kink is pretty boys n not masochism

stop slandering me: what’s up with chan sending you to get him though?

  


stop me, coward: minho said he couldn’t find the dorms which i find Unlikely

  


stop slandering me: i mean he isn’t that bright

  


stop me, coward: don't you dare speak of the prettiest boy i have seen like that

stop me, coward: anyways he’s staying with us for Movie Night

stop me, coward: i might actually die

stop me, coward: why does chan want me to suffer

  


stop slandering me: The Night Of The Flaming Studio

  


stop me, coward: we said we would never speak of that again

  


stop slandering me: and now my mouth has been opened

stop slandering me: would you like me to open it to your school friends

  


stop me, coward: a Menanance

  


stop slandering me: menanance?

  


stop me, coward: yeah like a bad person

  


stop slandering me: that’s menace

stop slandering me: do you spell banana like banananana

  


stop me, coward: you don’t? 

stop me, coward: anyways you nerd i gtg!!! chan and minho are out of Their Secret Meeting

  


stop slandering me: fare thee well orge

  


stop me, coward: oh i will

  


**_why did you have to move in next door_ **

  


who is moon jae in: hey potbelly piglet

  


baby!!: save your compliments for someone who cares

  


who is moon jae in: tell your mom and my mom that i’m at chan’s

who is moon jae in: impromptu sleepover

  


baby!!: why don’t you text them Yourself

baby!!: do your golbin fingers cease to function on actual texts

  


who is moon jae in: you know it

who is moon jae in: you also know that you’re their favorite

who is moon jae in: hopefully between it being chan (fellow mom) and it being you (favorite child) i will scrape by Without Punishment

  


baby!!: what Will You Give Me

  


who is moon jae in: i’ll make more excuses for you to hang out with seungmin

  


baby!!: hm,,

  


who is moon jae in: and hyunjin

  


baby!!: you drive a Hard Bargain

  


who is moon jae in: thanks i spent two weeks on getting the license

  


baby!!: hrn… 

baby!!: this time, your grovelling has paid off

  


who is moon jae in: aight remember to feed kangie

  


baby!!: who do you think I am

  


who is moon jae in: someone who is just feeding him now

  


baby!!: someday

baby!!: someday you’ll all see

  


who is moon jae in: i’ll be blind by then

  


baby!!: i’ll make sure of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case it wasn't obvious, jeongin and minho know each other because they're neighbors!! 3/4 of '00 line is missing this chapter because apparently i cannot handle writing a full 9 men!!!!


	7. guess who watched half of troll 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> troll 2 is a fever dream that invades your dreams, or you don't ever remember watching it. it's one of those two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders:
> 
> woojin - woojeans / troll 2 police  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - who is moon jae in / murky murky  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

**_zone 2018-2019_ **

  


who is moon jae in: peter was a courageous boy, but that dawn he could feel fear stick to his skin like dew on leaves. the fog was thick enough to make him lose his way home. then he began to hear strange noises coming from the depths of the forest.

  


segment: (What is this)

segment: (Something from minhos horror movie rp folders?)

  


dancing queen (only 17): ((don’t be silly))

dancing queen (only 17): ((minho can barely read, how would he write))

  


who is moon jae in: he noticed a presence, small shadows that seemed to giggle as they followed in his footsteps.

  


you can’t use slander like that: it’s something worse

  


stop me, coward: who were they, grandpa?

  


you can’t use slander like that: they’ve been reciting troll 2 since 2am yesterday

  


who is moon jae in: cruel, deformed forest dwellers, haughty creatures, spiteful and impudent. 

  


segment: (gasp)

segment: (it was a bunch of minhos)

  


who is moon jae in: they are vengeful and evil golbins–-the little people of the night. 

  


stop me, coward: what did they want with him?

stop me, coward: what did peter do to them?

  


who is moon jae in: lil fucker if you don’t wanna end up like mr. impaled in the nilbog forest you’ll shut up and let me speak

  


stop me, coward: yes papi seth

  


woojeans: i don’t think that’s how the movie went

  


who is moon jae in: who are you, the troll 2 police?

who is moon jae in: it’s a modern interpretation 

  


_woojeans set their name to troll 2 police._

  


troll 2 police: now what’ll you do

  


baby,,: troll 2?

baby,,: the 1990 movie?

  


stop slandering me: yeah the horrible piece of shit movie that felt like a 4 day long fever dream

  


you can’t stop slandering me: idk what you mean it felt like two cursed seconds

  


baby,,: it’s a masterpiece how dare you

baby,,: it really taught me about how to deal with changes

  


who is moon jae in: WE doN’t Piss on HospiTality

  


stop me, coward: not whipping your dick out in 30 seconds and peeing on the food your family’s eating challenge: failed

  


baby!!: oh god no

baby!!: you didn’t warn me that you’ve shown minho a movie

  


stop slandering me: why

  


who is moon jae in: you will sweat chlorophyll green

  


baby!!: he never stops quoting them

  


who is moon jae in: can’t stop won’t stop baby!

  


baby,,: don’t censor them jeonginnie

  


who is moon jae in: you betcha you freckle bitch

who is moon jae in: you remind me of the goblin in disguise that murks peter

  


baby,,: i’m flattered :D

  


stop me, coward: and if minho’s anyone it’s the credence lady who murks the girl

  


_who is moon jae in has set their name to murky murky._

  


murky murky: and you’re the boy who got stabbed with her and just stands there as she gets cocooned and gets fuckin tree’d

  


stop me, coward: chainsaw me more thottie

  


baby,,: and hyunjin’s the older sister that dances in the mirror!!

  


you can’t use slander like that: does that make seungmin elliot

you can’t use slander like that: who’s seungmin’s boys

  


who is moon jae in: jeongin, i guess

  


baby!!: i am multiple boys

baby!!: infinite

  


troll 2 police: i support your multiple identities

  


baby!!: multiple dented titties?

  


troll 2 police: what else

  


stop me, coward: wait can woojin be grandpa seth

  


murky murky: ofc

  


you can’t use slander like that: yall this isn’t some troll 2 fan club

  


_murky murky has set the chat’s name to troll 2 fan club 2018-2019._

  


murky murky: who says it can’t be

  


troll 2 police: i may support jeongin’s multiple identities but not your troll 2 fanboying

  


stop me, coward: it’s not a phase, dad

  


baby!!: everything is a phase when your life has an expiration date

  


you can’t use slander like that: that’s dark

you can’t use slander like that: especially for you kid

you can’t use slander like that: everything alright little guy

  


baby!!: i’m Taller than you

  


you can’t use slander like that: don’t you type at me in that tone of voice

  


troll 2 police: kids are so rude nowadays

  


you can’t use slander like that: isn’t that what you said from the it’s raining stage

  


troll 2 police: you’re still a kid

troll 2 police: how dare you make us teenage parents

  


you can’t use slander like that: technically you aren’t a teenager anymore

  


troll 2 police: uh, no

troll 2 police: you’re uninvited to my birthday party

  


murky murky: bicth disgusting

  


dancing queen (only 17): quick babe they’re outgaying us

  


segment: Sorry honey i dont go against wk97

segment: Seems

segment: Dangerous

  


troll 2 police: better not pussy

  


you can’t use slander like that: woojafjdsnafkd

  


stop me, coward: ,,

stop me, coward: nilbog is golbin backward

  


murky murky: oh my goodddddd

  


**_power couple_ **

  


segment: Sorry baby <3333

segment: I didnt realize i wasnt supposed to invite jeonginnie

  


dancing queen (only 17): it’s fine i just thought we were just having a date with the two of us

dancing queen (only 17): i know i’ve been really busy with dance so i wanted to make it up to you

  


segment: Thats really sweet but i understand that dance is a priority for you

  


dancing queen (only 17): you should be another priority of mine

dancing queen (only 17): at least it was jeonginnie

dancing queen (only 17): if you brought minho i don’t think i could have forgiven that

  


segment: No way im bringin him just so he could leave with whatever kid he picks up

  


dancing queen (only 17): come on seungmin don’t make assumptions

  


segment: Well pretty much everyone at school can back that up

segment: Literally everyone talks about whatever new person of the week that he’s picked up 

  


dancing queen (only 17): and they also say a lot of shit they believe about us

  


segment: I guess thats fair

segment: Anyways i have to go help my sister with cleaning!!

  


dancing queen (only 17): good luck

  


**_ye old gossiping ahjummas_ **

  


troll 2 police: almost lunchtime for 3racha yet?

  


you can’t use slander like that: i can’t take you seriously with that name man

you can’t use slander like that: but yeah changbin was just about to order something

  


troll 2 police: well i have the need to go to mcdonald’s so i’m kidnapping all of you

  


you can’t use slander like that: alright jinnie i’ll pull jisung out of the booth

  


troll 2 police: jinndniifsi

  


you can’t use slander like that: you good?

  


troll 2 police: yeah ran into someone and dropped my phnoe

troll 2 police: anyways i’m waiting down in the lobby so hurry up

  


**_2racha + dad_ **

  


troll 2 police: find reasons for not coming out with chan

  


stop me, coward: o h ?

  


stop slandering me: o?

  


troll 2 police: if you want to keep functioning elbows i’d find a way and not question it

  


stop me, coward: uwu my parents are finally getting spines

  


troll 2 police: and you’re losing yours

  


**_ye old gossiping ahjummas_ **

  


you can’t use slander like that: oh jisung and changbin said that they can’t go :((

you can’t use slander like that: they’re probably up to no good but it’s not like i’d be able to stop them if i tried

you can’t use slander like that: is it cool if it’s only me

  


troll 2 police: could always do more time without thing 1 and thing 2

  


you can’t use slander like that: i’ll meet you down in the lobby then

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woochan having their date?? seunginjin picking up steam???? mayhaps


	8. i'm so so sorry that this is becoming minho-biased

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aussies are All Weebs, and ernest hemingway was a crazy old cat lady

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders (it's fine if you forget, i do too):
> 
> woojin - troll 2 police  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - murky murky  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

**_troll 2 fan club 2018-2019_ **

  


baby!!: did you know ernest hemingway taught one of his cats to drink whiskey

  


baby,,: did you know that i have so much love for you in my body, you sweet sweet Wild Child

  


baby!!: yes

  


baby,,: good.

baby,,: what’s got your mind on hemingway’s pussies sweetie

  


murky murky: felix you have to stop hanging around Seungjin™

murky murky: they are Bad Influences

  


baby,,: you’re not my dad!!

  


murky murky: he may have been your dad, but he sure wasn’t your Spicy Papa Minho

  


baby!!: ernest hemingway had so many pussies

baby!!: so i was worried

baby!!: is that a Straight Man thing

baby!!: do i really have to spend a unit in class on a man like that

  


dancing queen (only 17): i’m talking to your teacher

dancing queen (only 17): you’re too young to learn about straight people

  


segment: Dont worry having a lot of pussies is also a Bisexual Thing

segment: Minho can attest 

  


murky murky: i have so many fucking cats

  


segment: That is Entirely Not What I Meant but still a Valid Point

  


baby,,: i wouldn’t call two cats a lot :(

  


murky murky: soonie and doongie have Jeongin Syndrome

murky murky: so many multiple i den and teeth

  


baby!!: ultimate boys

  


dancing queen (only 17): yall where’s the 3racha (and their emotional support woojin) at tho

  


baby!!: my parents are On A Mcdonald’s Date

baby!!: and the two fuckups are probably working on their songs

  


baby,,: how do you know this??

  


baby!!: infinite boys

baby!!: infinite knowledge

  


murky murky: i got the gossip from j.one and spread it

  


baby!!: lies and slander

  


murky murky: watch out or you’ll start sounding like spearb

  


baby!!: yes, police officer, that’s the man

  


baby,,: [johnatheon voice] can you believE?

  


dancing queen (only 17): h

dancing queen (only 17): why

dancing queen (only 17): why do you spell jonathan like that

  


baby,,: free speech

  


dancing queen (only 17): a.) this isn’t america

dancing queen (only 17): b.) you didn’t say it

  


baby,,: how do You know

  


dancing queen (only 17): i dislike this new rebellious streak

  


murky murky: your Fault

  


segment: I believe jeonginnie <3333

segment: (More like i am against ever believing minho)

  


dancing queen (only 17): minho’s getting a libel lawsuit in the near future

  


segment: Get prepared to lose

segment: I didnt spend 3 years in mock trial to lose to the likes of you

  


baby,,: new anime idea!!

baby,,: top-of-his-craft-seungmin is put up against a new and upcoming civil defender, minho!!!

baby,,: seungmin is ahead of the game, but minho finds a secret loophole and new evidence and destroys him with a cross of a key witness!!!!!

baby,,: then, seungmin is ridiculed by his coworkers for losing to a public defender, and they have to work together!!!!!!!!!!! also minho has HUGE honkers! like,, MASSIVE!!

  


murky murky: hm,, interesting

  


dancing queen (only 17): NOTP WOULD NOT WATCH

  


baby!!: ^

  


stop slandering me: are all aussies weebs?

  


baby,,: in My Experience, yes

baby,,: wait

baby,,: do you know another aussie?????? :D

  


stop slandering me: oh yah

stop slandering me: forgot you don’t know

stop slandering me: cb is aussie too

  


segment: ????

segment: How did you know felix was aussie though???

  


**_2racha_ **

  


stop me, coward: CHAGNBING

stop me, coward: I HTOUGH CHAN WOULD BE THE ONE OT BETRAY ME BUT

stop me, coward: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  


stop slandering me: calm down pocket posie

stop slandering me: i can handle this

  


stop me, coward: CAN YOU?

  


**_troll 2 fan club 2018-2019_ **

  


stop slandering me: you think minho doesn’t talk about yall?

  


dancing queen (only 17): minHO?

  


segment: Cursed man, death penalty recommended

  


baby,,: betrayal?? D:

  


murky murky: listen babe there’s a good explanation

  


**_kfc knife boy, chan’s oldest kid_ **

  


murky murky: what is the Meaning of This?

  


stop slandering me: i can’t just throw jisung under the bus, felix doesn’t know that his best buddy is j.one!

  


murky murky: first of all, you can absolutely throw him under the bus

murky murky: secondly, worm?

  


stop slandering me: wait

stop slandering me: waiT

stop slandering me: did i just tell you something you didn’t know

  


murky murky: i’m not about to Go Shout It On The Mountain (1909)

murky murky: but i did not put han jisung together with jisung, no

  


stop slandering me: you keep my secret i keep yours?

  


murky murky: it’s actually Jisung’s Secret but fine you snakeass looking blackmailer

  


**_troll 2 fan club 2018-2019_ **

  


segment: Waiting

  


dancing queen (only 17): still waiting

  


baby!!: did he finally get slaughtered

  


murky murky: too many tongues

murky murky: my condition prevents me from Not Being a Fucking Loud Mouth

  


baby!!: fuck you you got my hopes up

  


murky murky: I Am the “Hyung To Go To For Disappointment”

murky murky: i have to retain my title

  


baby!!: how did you know that was your name in my phone

  


murky murky: you told me your password when you forgot it at home and wanted me to text your mom for you since you had nothing but hyunjin’s phone

  


baby!!: curse you for being the one that lives next door to me

  


dancing queen (only 17): why Does your mom hate me?

  


baby!!: never trust a mullet man

  


murky murky: the yang family motto

  


dancing queen (only 17): i only had it for like 5 weeks!

  


segment: 5 weeks too long..

  


baby,,: you gave the dance team a bad image

  


dancing queen (only 17): it wasn’t that bad!

  


baby!!: i’ve let down my family for you, hwang hyunjin, you better be grateful

  


dancing queen (only 17): sorry jeonginnie :(

  


**_chan’s boyfriend?? kfc baseball bat man_ **

  


troll 2 police: you know i would only come to you for desperate measures

troll 2 police: and this time again i cannot let the other two dumbasses know about my defeat

troll 2 police: lend me your understanding-christopher-bang-glasses please?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear that i'm not trying for this to come off minho-centric, my boy just keeps coming for me? what am i supposed to do when i don't have the correct safety gear to collect hiM? my physics/chemistry/adv chem teacher told me to always wear correcT SAFETY GEAR????
> 
> ((also i know it's blasphemous but i like hyunjin's Mullet. so far only him and taehyung (bts) are the only ones allowed to have mullets In My Book))


	9. what is the trendiest way to stay in contact? blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yall where is this going

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders: 
> 
> woojin - troll 2 police  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - murky murky  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

**_chan’s boyfriend?? kfc baseball bat man_ **

  


murky murky: oh?

murky murky: why’s Australian Extraordinaire got you sliding in My dms?

  


troll 2 police: you don’t think i know that you two are Close?

troll 2 police: why else would chan have let you meet the rest of us? and why else would he be pullin favors for you??

  


murky murky: fair enough

murky murky: what’s your issue dad

  


troll 2 police: oh so now i’m your dad?

troll 2 police: not “i’m not a kid and also you can’t handle this”

  


murky murky: you came to me for consultation and now you attack me?

murky murky: then perish

  


troll 2 police: okay fine

troll 2 police: so i know that jisung ratted me out

  


murky murky: you are not incorrect, per say

murky murky: also i told you not to pick mcdonalds as a first date

murky murky: never works, heard it from a guy who heard it from this other guy that knew a girl that was taken out to mcdonalds for a first date

  


troll 2 police: so 

troll 2 police: minho

troll 2 police: what does it mean when i full out tell him that i like him and he friendzones himself with a “our friendship could defeat frieza, huh?”?

  


murky murky: oh No

murky murky: well it means it’s chan

murky murky: if he can avoid it he Will

murky murky: hit or miss, i guess you always miss

  


troll 2 police: do you want me to invert your rib cage

  


murky murky: no, sir

  


troll 2 police: i thought he liked me?

troll 2 police: but he kept avoiding it the whole time at mcs

  


murky murky: and he pointed out a person he thought you could fit well with?

  


troll 2 police: i knew i came to the right bastard

troll 2 police: anyways is this a test? like if i still like him or something or?

  


murky murky: it just means that it’s not necessarily you

murky murky: i wouldn’t worry about it 

  


troll 2 police: ? 

  


murky murky: i’m just saying

murky murky: with their comeback coming and all the other stuff i think he’s a bit more sensitive?

murky murky: just like soonie whenever i have to pull her out of the garbage can after the first time

murky murky: so if you or someone else said something earlier that was even remotely close to Friendzone Material before that he probably zoned out of it

  


troll 2 police: ig i’ll try to be careful about it?

troll 2 police: i don’t think i said anything??

troll 2 police: but i had another reason to come to you to talk

  


murky murky: oh?

  


troll 2 police: so i overheard him before but i didn’t want to make chan be the snitch by asking him to explain so i’m going to ask the source instead

troll 2 police: what’s the whole situation with daesung?

  


murky murky: oh

murky murky: well

murky murky: i used to know the school gang’s old leader

murky murky: and i got on his bad side

  


troll 2 police: and?

troll 2 police: is that all?

troll 2 police: what did you do to get on that guy’s radar?

  


murky murky: you know where jeongin moved into just next door to my house?

  


troll 2 police: yeah

  


murky murky: well he used to live there so we grew up with each other

murky murky: he and i used to be close but

murky murky: sorry i gtg soonie’s in the trash again

  


troll 2 police: where she belongs

troll 2 police: minho?

  


**_hyung collector <3333_ **

  


segment: Did you get home safe??

  


baby!!: i don’t know why you’re so worried jeez

baby!!: hyunjin walked with me right to my doorstep

baby!!: (and then hid when he saw my mom)

  


segment: Well yang mama is 2nd scariest mom

  


baby!!: and lee mama lives next door

  


segment: I was actually getting at woojin but thats fair

  


baby!!: Oh No

baby!!: has he finally Threatened You™?

baby!!: i can guilt trip him by falling down some stairs to get bruises if you need me to

  


segment: I dont like that you would so readily do that but nah

segment: Apparently according to j.one hes terrifying

  


baby!!: talking to jone now?

  


segment: A singular jone yes

segment: Well he was trying to text someone named chan but guess who he texted

segment: Should i be telling cb that woojin is cheating on him with whoever bang "chris chika chika bangathon" chan is?

  


baby!!: i wouldn’t worry about it

  


segment: Wait

segment: Is chan cb97?

  


baby!!: ye

  


segment: Wow i thought thatd be harder to get out of you

  


baby!!: i don’t think he honestly cares

baby!!: so long as jones and emo disaster don’t get exposed

  


segment: So am i dedicated to silence or?

  


baby!!: fine as long as you blame it on minho if you get found out

  


segment: uh Obviously

  


baby!!: i’ve been assuming you made it home okay?

baby!!: you should have taken your guard dog with you i had a shorter walk

  


segment: I dont think hyunjin would like us calling him that lol

  


baby!!: if you called him that i’m sure he would buy a full-out fursuit and get commissions for his fursona

  


segment: At least thered be business for starving artists

segment: But no i got home safe <3

segment: Im gonna go text hyunjin to make sure hes good now byee

  


baby!!: bye

  


**_dance section 1_ **

  


murky murky: okay so the draft has been approved on both sides so now we can work on polishing it

murky murky: and i’m going to have a talk with cb about what we’ll do for practice arrangements

murky murky: you two are good for coming in later than normal if needed, right?

  


baby,,: yep!!!

  


dancing queen (only 17): wow there wasn’t a reference in that pile of text

dancing queen (only 17): who stole minho’s phone?

  


murky murky: are you Sure it wasn’t you, mullet boy?

murky murky: awful suspect of you to point blame already

  


dancing queen (only 17): oop it’s minho

  


baby,,: have you decided which of us is covering what part?

  


murky murky: well,,

murky murky: i’ll probably have cb?? i don’t know though

murky murky: the other two might appreciate having someone they’ve met

  


dancing queen (only 17): since when do you Care?

  


murky murky: since you started to get a death wish boy

murky murky: why you so pointy in this year of our lord and savior jang wooyoung?

  


baby,,: let’s not murder each other so soon

baby,,: the night is still young

  


dancing queen (only 17): it’s 2am

  


baby,,: well you were awake weren’t you?

  


dancing queen (only 17): ,

  


murky murky: and now i shall Leave

murky murky: i will contact you by way of smoke signals and rat droppings in your linen closet when i get more information

  


baby,,: jeez that’s so last week the new thing is writing it in their blood in their pantry after draining them of most of their blood :(

  


murky murky: seungjin, you will regret what you have done to my child

  


dancing queen (only 17): i swear this time that that was not us

  


baby,,: that’s what yeri from choir said!!

  


dancing queen (only 17): oh thank god i thought he made it himself

  


murky murky: is that the girl who said voldemort was her inspiration

  


baby,,: did she? :o

  


dancing queen (only 17): i thought so

  


murky murky: hm,,

murky murky: seungjin is pardoned

murky murky: for now

  


**_my youngest baby uwu_ **

  


baby!!: chan

baby!!: how do you survive living so close with woojin but not dating him?

baby!!: how do you do nothing about it?

  


you can’t use slander like that: oh is it emo hours kiddo

you can’t use slander like that: but as for an answer usually i’m distracted with work 

you can’t use slander like that: can’t angst about him if i can’t think about it

  


baby!!: so,, denial and avoidance?

  


you can’t use slander like that: yeah

you can’t use slander like that: don’t follow in my footsteps, ok?

  


baby!!: i’m just

baby!!: i’ve spent more time with them recently

baby!!: i thought i’d like it

baby!!: but it just hurts more

  


you can’t use slander like that: the boys you talked about

you can’t use slander like that: are they seungmin and hyunjin?

  


baby!!: ...yes

  


you can’t use slander like that: i’m so sorry little buddy

you can’t use slander like that: that’s a hard situation to be in

  


baby!!: i think hyunjin hates me

baby!!: i wouldn’t blame him

  


you can’t use slander like that: what makes you think that??

  


baby!!: he just

baby!!: he makes sure i don’t spend much alone time with seungmin

baby!!: he always gets angry at me quick when we hang out irl

  


you can’t use slander like that: he could just be in a bad mood honey :(

  


baby!!: it’s been everytime we hang out

baby!!: i think seungmin’s just inviting me because he sees how i don’t have anyone to hang with because you all are busy with your comeback

baby!!: i don’t even know what i plan on doing with this,, thing

  


you can’t use slander like that: we don’t need to have another talk about polyamory being okay, do we?

  


baby!!: it’s not that, it’s just

baby!!: if i confess then i’ll probably either ruin my relationship with them or their relationship

baby!!: or both

baby!!: and i’m not bold enough to think the two of them will ever like me

  


you can’t use slander like that: i can’t tell you what’s the path to go here

you can’t use slander like that: it all depends on how much you wanna risk it

you can’t use slander like that: overthinking these things and worrying about them won’t help you any

you can’t use slander like that: and if you go for it and end up rejected, you’ll always have us and just know that no one can ignore the jeonginnie charm so you’ll still have your friendship after a bit

  


baby!!: thanks chan

baby!!: if you’re this good with advice why aren’t you dating woojin already

  


you can’t use slander like that: i’m senSItiVE AUBREY

you can’t use slander like that: i thought he might have been making a move today but nah

  


baby!!: tea?

  


you can’t use slander like that: stop hanging around the dance trope goodness

you can’t use slander like that: or jisung i can’t tell

you can’t use slander like that: but yeah as we were walking to mcdonalds he pointed out this couple and was like “haha look that’s us”

you can’t use slander like that: so as any good bro would do i asked “oh, worm?” 

  


baby!!: now who’s been hanging around the dance trope for too long

  


you can’t use slander like that: shush dad’s telling you a story

you can’t use slander like that: anyways then woojin goes “besides the romance part obviously” and i’m like “k”

  


baby!!: he gave you a full No Homo?

  


you can’t use slander like that: yeah and so i’m just

you can’t use slander like that: okay we aren’t doing this then so we just had a Bro Hangout

  


baby!!: Hopeless

  


you can’t use slander like that: right after you were just talking about to bee or not to bee??

  


baby!!: buzz buzz

baby!!: i never claimed to not be hopeless too

  


you can’t use slander like that: ,,

you can’t use slander like that: technicalities,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you guys have ideas for who to pair up in dance practice,,,, telleth i because i haveth none
> 
> someday changlix will return from the war,,


	10. tragic backstory (1/9) Unlocked?? almost there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> minho is a clothes thief and has his Tragic Backstory unlocked, changbin pulls out his first panicked gay, and chan is really a useless bottom
> 
> oh, and they get their partners lassies & lads & shouted yeehaws!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders:
> 
> woojin - troll 2 police  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - murky murky  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

**_the dancing buffoon_ **

  


murky murky: who are we thinking for pairups here?

murky murky: i can prolly do anybody but i figure you know the jisung and felix situation?

  


you can’t use slander like that: ,,yes

you can’t use slander like that: when did you find out?

you can’t use slander like that: i thought you weren’t out enough with the others to know that

  


murky murky: listen i know i’m “antisocial and need to get out of my shell” but You don’t get to come for me for that

  


you can’t use slander like that: :///

  


murky murky: changbin is the snitch

  


you can’t use slander like that: ,allowed

you can’t use slander like that: but i think we should get the other two in on this discussion?

you can’t use slander like that: i’ll make a new gc real quick

  


**_3racha + my amish cousin_ **

  


_you can’t use slander like that has added murky murky, stop slandering me, and stop me, coward to **3racha + my amish cousin**._

  


murky murky: i’ll show you an amish cousin

  


stop slandering me: how???? you’ll stop texting??? 

  


you can’t use slander like that: thank god

  


murky murky: i’ll make you rue the day you dishonored me, my family, and my cows

  


stop me, coward: we talkin icarly now?

stop me, coward: i did not pin you as a nevel

  


murky murky: well what else

  


stop me, coward: idk ,, sam?

  


you can’t use slander like that: he doesn’t have the raw power to be sam

  


stop me, coward: well who else could be? woojin??

  


stop slandering me: no stop,, it’s cursed

  


stop me, coward: weakass bitch i walk straight into hexes because i am That Bitch

  


you can’t use slander like that: stop trying to look cool and let’s discuss what we came here to discuss

  


stop slandering me: well

stop slandering me: my favorite mlp is rainbow dash

  


murky murky: god no

murky murky: what have i done besides stealing at least three of hyunjin’s sweatshirts and two jerseys to deserve a brony in front of my fucking salad

  


you can’t use slander like that: wait

you can’t use slander like that: are you the reason my old jacket is missing

  


stop me, coward: he blamed me for that man!!!!

  


murky murky: ok i May have taken a hoodie or two but the jacket wasn’t me

murky murky: that was Someone Else

murky murky: (perhaps a college student with an infatuation for chicken?? ?)

  


you can’t use slander like that: i will Hesitantly Trust you for now

  


murky murky: also please don’t tell hyunjin

murky murky: then i’ll have to give them back and his clothes are Big and Comfortable

  


you can’t use slander like that: my mouth is sealed if yall start talking business

  


murky murky: so who do yall wanna be paired up with??

  


stop slandering me: well how are we making this choice??????

stop slandering me: logic says the leaders should work together but chan already has work on his dancing so he doesn’t need it

  


you can’t use slander like that: :’) thanks binnie binnie changbinnie

  


stop slandering me: nevermind suffer

  


stop me, coward: i’m not that bad with dancing either? but minho’s the only one i’ve met before

  


murky murky: well hyunjin’s a okay teacher and he’s kind of a j.one stan so i’m sure he’ll like you no matter what if that helps?

murky murky: if changbin’s the one with problems then you can be my problem child ;))))

  


stop slandering me: eww cooties

  


murky murky: so then chan can be with felix? aussie aussies? felix isn’t that good at spoken korean so that could work out????

  


stop me, coward: well chan isn’t that good at english anymore so

  


you can’t use slander like that: desisT

you can’t use slander like that: that may be so but i’m gonna steal minho away from changbin

  


murky murky: i’m not into married men :/

  


you can’t use slander like that: little bastard you know it’s because it’d be more matching in final stages for both of us

  


stop me, coward: wait i still don’t get this

stop me, coward: are you all going to perform with us or?

  


murky murky: well that’s a possibility for local stages but mostly our stages are our dance competitions and school performances so 

  


stop slandering me: well, i’d be good with meeting a new peep

stop slandering me: god knows jisung talks about him enough

  


stop me, coward: i get one (1) friend and you disrespect me like this

  


murky murky: n e gays i’m headed out with jeonginnie and our moms

murky murky: don’t die because then i have to change the choreo!!

  


stop me, coward: copy, roger

  


murky murky: uh my name isn’t roger

murky murky: it’s esteban julio ricardo montoya del rosa ramirez

  


stop me, coward: who’s got the time to copy to that

  


stop slandering me: copy and paste man

  


stop me, coward: you right you right

  


**_ye old gossiping ahjummas_ **

  


troll 2 police: have you chatted with minho since last night?

  


you can’t use slander like that: well we literally just stopped texting a few minutes ago?

you can’t use slander like that: why?

  


troll 2 police: we were talking earlier and then he just stopped responding

troll 2 police: is there a reason he doesn’t want to talk about daesung?

  


you can’t use slander like that: how do you know about daesung???

  


troll 2 police: i’m sorry but you talk loud on the phone 

troll 2 police: why do you speak so loud into the speaker?

  


you can’t use slander like that: gotta make sure they hear me!

you can’t use slander like that: and what all did he tell you?

  


troll 2 police: he just said he used to be close with the old gang leader and got on his bad side?

  


you can’t use slander like that: that’s quite an understatement

you can’t use slander like that: they made his life living hell for over a year before he switched schools and the gang leader graduated

  


troll 2 police: what did minho do to make him so angry?

  


you can’t use slander like that: first you gotta understand that no noori’s got a few screws loose

you can’t use slander like that: and not in a good way

you can’t use slander like that: he tried to get more from minho than minho was willing to give and when he refused he went insane

  


troll 2 police: like

troll 2 police: he tried to get,, that?

  


you can’t use slander like that: and then he spread all these rumors that minho had tried to seduce him and a bunch of his gangs, and that he broke a bunch of girl’s hearts

you can’t use slander like that: said he was handing out stds like trick-or-treating but with life-threatening diseases and had child support he wasn’t paying just to be an asshole and the whole deal

you can’t use slander like that: so everyone thought he was just getting what was coming to him

  


troll 2 police: minho doesn’t really seem like he’s really gone through that,,

  


you can’t use slander like that: doesn’t he, though?

you can’t use slander like that: he doesn’t talk with people outside his dance section and even ended up not doing his runner’s high part because he thought they would find him again

  


troll 2 police: i did wonder why he gave that up

  


you can’t use slander like that: don’t tell him i told you all this though

you can’t use slander like that: he still hates talking about it and he will never trust me with Information again

  


troll 2 police: my mouth is zipped

troll 2 police: so how is the comeback coming along?

  


you can’t use slander like that: well 

you can’t use slander like that: minho’s choreo got approval so now we’ve been setting up partners

you can’t use slander like that: so far me and minho, changbin and felix, and hyunjin and jisung

  


troll 2 police: did you set changbin up with felix because you know he’s his type and want to see Gay Panic

  


you can’t use slander like that: perhaps,,,

you can’t use slander like that: but how did you know??

  


troll 2 police: you’re not the only one who gets information from jeonginnie

  


you can’t use slander like that: fair enough

you can’t use slander like that: anyways that and because i need to talk to minho about stuff anyways so 

  


**_troll 2 fan club 2018-2019_ **

  


stop slandering me: i just saw,, the most beautiful boy

  


you can’t use slander like that: oh?

  


dancing queen (only 17): welcome back from the dead mr. cb97!!!!

dancing queen (only 17): also worm?

  


stop slandering me: i come to pick up j.one

stop slandering me: and right in front of my salad i Realize

stop slandering me: j.one’s been hoarding all the hot kids at his school

stop slandering me: unfair

  


stop me, coward: i still have No Clue who you’re talking about

stop me, coward: does he have a Long Neck? a giraffe, mayhaps?

  


stop slandering me: no but he is

stop slandering me: ajfkdsanfkldnsaklfkdsljaf material you know?

  


baby!!: useless gay

  


stop slandering me: laUREN

  


baby!!: perish

  


murky murky: who perishing now?

  


stop slandering me: bury me in an orange casket

stop slandering me: orange will be the cause of my death and where i will rest in eternal slumber

  


troll 2 police: a 3racha member getting sleep? unrealistic, blocked

  


stop slandering me: he’s so dajfsk

  


troll 2 police: also minho you want your ass Beat?

  


stop me, coward: damn you two kinky?

  


troll 2 police: you really want your blood flow reversed don’t you

  


stop me, coward: my blood flow r

stop me, coward: reversed?

  


troll 2 police: @murky murky i saw you text the gc you can’t hide now

  


segment: Minhos in trouble? I love this music

  


murky murky: listen soonie was Deep in the trash

  


troll 2 police: and you think you won’t be?

  


dancing queen (only 17): (what’s the tea?)

  


troll 2 police: minho ignored my texts

  


murky murky: i got Busy

  


dancing queen (only 17): oh rip

  


murky murky: hyunjIN

murky murky: you won’t be getting your practice jersey back in time for practice unless you help me

  


dancing queen (only 17): STOP HOLDING MY CLOTHES FOR RNASOM

dancing queen (only 17): bTW I REALLY NED MY DAD’S SHIRT BCAK

  


murky murky: oh that wasn’t me

murky murky: _@baby!!_ cough it up

  


baby!!: never

  


troll 2 police: minho you’re excluded from the next snack night

  


murky murky: joke’s on you time’s an illusion

  


dancing queen (only 17): damn minho’s risking it all

  


stop slandering me: aw pretty boy is leaving :(

  


you can’t use slander like that: perhaps,, approach him?

  


stop slandering me: ppffffh you’re saying that?

  


stop me, coward: you’re both useless bottoms

  


you can’t use slander like that: bithc

  


stop me, coward: am i Wrong?

  


you can’t use slander like that: yeS

  


stop slandering me: well i mean

  


you can’t use slander like that: HE MEANS YES TOO

  


troll 2 police: nothing wrong with being a bottom

  


you can’t use slander like that: woojin, i am Betrayed

you can’t use slander like that: and anyways _@stop slandering me_ i’m sure you can Approach him

  


stop slandering me: well he’s already gone so :(

  


baby,,: aw i missed all the drama

baby,,: what happened?

  


segment: Spearb is jakdfsakldfkasjfkd-ing about some pretty boy, minho is in trouble, and cb97 is a useless bottom

  


baby,,: oh neet

  


stop slandering me: *neat

  


dancing queen (only 17): don’t you dare correct him foul beast

  


segment: ^^^

  


stop slandering me: ,,point taken

  


you can’t use slander like that: ,i had something to say

you can’t use slander like that: and all yall’s dumbassery made me forget

  


murky murky: ((partners))

  


you can’t use slander like that: O

you can’t use slander like that: j.one’s with hyunjin and spearb’s got felix!

  


dancing queen (only 17): Ohhoh?????????

  


stop me, coward: nice meetin ya partner

  


dancing queen (only 17): ...yeehaw

  


baby,,: hi!!!!!

  


stop slandering me: ok

  


segment: Hm

segment: Do i get a partner too

  


murky murky: gotta join the dance trope then you loser

murky murky: sucks to suck

  


baby!!: i’ll be your partner

baby!!: minho has been seeming Too Cocky lately

  


segment: Didnt know minho could have too much cock

  


murky murky: r00d

murky murky: i’ll dramatically leave and become amish and you’ll have only yourself to blame

  


segment: Farewell

  


dancing queen (only 17): goodbye

  


baby!!: and that day we lost our mangy old senile cat that had been eating his own vomit

  


murky murky: Taste The Rainbow

  


troll 2 police: Simulate Your Senses

  


you can’t use slander like that: 5 Gum

  


stop me, coward: 5 Gum

  


you can’t use slander like that: haha got it first

  


stop me, coward: i felt success at the tips of my fingers, but it slipped just as i reached out further to grab it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> relationship wise,,, this is a bit of a filler chapter,,,,, need me some setup first you know,,,,,,,, so i decided to put this out quicker and take a bit of time for next chapter if it ends up being something Not Filler


	11. setting up the partnas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so a small chappy to regain my momentum!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> username reminders:
> 
> woojin - troll 2 police  
> chan - you can't use slander like that  
> minho - murky murky  
> changbin - stop slandering me  
> hyunjin - dancing queen (only 17)  
> jisung - stop me, coward  
> felix - baby,,  
> seungmin - segment  
> jeongin - baby!!

**_stop slandering me, baby,,_ **

  


baby,,: so since we’re having our own practices together first, i wanted to check what would be a good time for you??? :D

  


stop slandering me: uhh honestly we kind of make our own schedule right now

  


baby,,: well do you have to worry about school???

  


stop slandering me: yeah

stop slandering me: but you do too so

  


baby,,: ok!!! 

baby,,: i’m sure you know what school minho goes to so i go to the same one ^^

baby,,: can you come in after school on tuesdays, thursdays, and fridays?

baby,,: i can send you directions to the practice room if you need them!!

  


stop slandering me: sounds good

stop slandering me: how long are you thinking practices’ll be

  


baby,,: hm, i don’t know ^^a

baby,,: let’s have our first practice first and see how that goes!

  


**_stop me, coward, dancing queen (only 17)_ **

  


dancing queen (only 17): so mr. j.one

dancing queen (only 17): mondays, wednesdays, and sundays good?

  


stop me, coward: sounds good fam

  


dancing queen (only 17): get excited for your part ;)

dancing queen (only 17): you must have done something to get minho’s favor

  


stop me, coward: ????????

  


dancing queen (only 17): i’m sure you’ll figure it out :)))))

  


**_dancing buffoon_ **

  


murky murky: sundays and saturdays

murky murky: no way i’m staying after school more than i need to

  


you can’t use slander like that: hello to you too minho

you can’t use slander like that: did you realize i have prime reason to come embarrass you at school

  


murky murky: bold of you to assume i can be embarrassed

  


you can’t use slander like that: ,

you can’t use slander like that: okay so your predictions?

  


murky murky: can’t say i know a lot about jisung but changbin and felix are gonna be a wild ride

murky murky: i assume you put those too together on purpose

  


you can’t use slander like that: i did but it’s up to changbin to not Wuss Out

  


murky murky: hmm

murky murky: out of you three he has the biggest fighting chance

  


you can’t use slander like that: i’ve decided to Not Gget Hurt because it comes from You

  


murky murky: okay angsty teenager wipe your tears so you can type properly

murky murky: and it’s not my fault that i’m just Too Good for People

  


you can’t use slander like that: alexa, how do i tell my son that we both know he’s Posturing?

  


murky murky: i thought i was your amish cousin

murky murky: that’s a few too many layers of incest for me, good sir

  


you can’t use slander like that: so 

you can’t use slander like that: how’s project cling to your two (2) friends going

  


murky murky: well you see

murky murky: you can’t judge a fish based on how well he tree-frogs tall people

  


you can’t use slander like that: oh? you want Your Ass Beat?

  


murky murky: i know you would never use those muscles to punch me, we’ve tested this before

murky murky: and yall got lives so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

  


you can’t use slander like that: i have to go but we’re gonna talk about this again

  


murky murky: you can Try, old man

  


**_power couple_ **

  


dancing queen (only 17): babe wanna head over to the cafe?

dancing queen (only 17): i just need a little destresser after that precalc test :(

  


segment: Sure give me a sec

  


**_hyung collector <3333_ **

  


segment: Baby wanna come hang out with me and hyunjin?

  


baby!!: i suppose,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i decided to post something small for my birthday because i feel like i've been neglecting this story!!!!! ((if i posted little excerpts (non-texting form) a few times but that slowed down the actual story how would yall be thinkin of it???))

**Author's Note:**

> kdajlfjdask thanks for read?? yes thanks
> 
> who knows when i'll update so have fun
> 
> ((tumblr is cheesimi if you want to follow and get spammed you with a bunch of reblogs and have radio silence for the other 23 and a half hours in a day))


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